It’s July 24, 2026. It’s been 40 days since anyone has seen Senator McConnell.
Hello fellow followers of Mitch’s mortality. I missed writing yesterday, but life gets in the way for those of us still living it. So a quick recap of what I missed and then on to today.
My absolute favorite thing that anyone has ever done is write this fantastic “pre” (?) obituary for the absent senator. Joseph Gerth published the prebituary on Wednesday, but the news coverage of said prebituary is occurring real time with numerous outlets drawing attention to the piece. Gerth wanted to get his thoughts on the record ahead of any announcement of Mitch’s demise so that no one could accuse him of speaking ill of the dead. The piece is a scathing takedown, which starts off with a comparison to Richard Nixon: “McConnell is every bit the detestable figure that Nixon was.
But unlike Nixon, McConnell never paid for his sins that have damaged our nation’s trust in government, destroyed the country’s ability to have meaningful dialogue and cemented our nation’s politics as an arena in which winning is the only thing that matters.”
Read the full prebit. It’s scathing.
Today’s news:
In a story covered by the Daily Beast and The Independent, my favorite riot girlie, AOC, is doing the put up or shut up kibosh on Mitch. AOC “called on Kentucky Republican Sen. Mitch McConnell to provide an update on his health or resign from office.
‘If he can’t give us an update, he should resign, absolutely,’said Ocasio-Cortez, who this week took the surprise lead in an early 2028 presidential primary poll.”
The Daily Beast reports that “Amid ongoing suspicion of a cover-up surrounding the 84-year-old senator, CNN’s MAGA mouthpiece Scott Jennings said on Thursday that it would be appropriate for McConnell’s office—led by $226,000-a-year chief-of-staff Terry Carmack—to put out another statement updating the public on when he was likely to return to work.”
When you’ve lost Scott Jennings, folks…
NOTE: I am not surprised that he’s in the lead because she absofuckinglutely should be. But she won’t get the nomination because we are living in the most misogynist racist timeline ever, and I will die mad about it. I am still going to die mad that Hillary didn’t win in 2016, so don’t come for me.